all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
