I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
