i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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