I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize