He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize