i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize