just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
