Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
