I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
This toilet bowl is my home.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
