Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i drank out of a bidet.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
