Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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