This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
