Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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