Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
