I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
