Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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