hotel room ftw
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
