sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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