Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
