did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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