No stitches, just platelets and will power
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
