There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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