Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
