had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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