: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize