Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize