Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
