You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize