His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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