Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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