I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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