My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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