It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It's blow job season.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
