I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
