their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
