White coat. Heels.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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