I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
