We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
