drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
