is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
