I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Randomize
