Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
