These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
