How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
