nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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