I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Life is so much better after having sex.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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