There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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