Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
