I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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