my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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