Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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