I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
