weddingsv make me drug and hornr
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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