i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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