Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
