I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just had sex on a roof
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
