Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize